An Open Letter to Jennifer Garner

Dear Mrs. Affleck:

Hopefully this doesn't make Ben jealous, but I've been in love with you for a long time.

You had me at the red wig. (Actually the red wig wasn't the first time we met, I distinctly remember you in Aftershock: Earthquake in New York, but let's pretend.) After Sydney Bristow/Alias/you entered my life, you could do no wrong: I rushed home from my Grandma's funeral so I didn't miss Alias' third season finale (I needed to keep up my streak of never missing an episode in real-time), I saw you test your comic chops in 13 Going on 30 on opening day (and boy, were you great), I was one of the few people that enjoyed (and own) Daredevil, and I saw the travesty that was Elektra in the theater twice (!) so that I could help your box office clout. In fact, you (or maybe just your cleavage) were plastered all over my dorm room in college. Obviously, I was smitten.

However, when Alias ended, your career choices had me concerned. (Not that your cinematic endeavors during Alias were great.) First, there was Catch and Release, your would-be coming-out-party as America's next rom-com star. Instead, it was two hours of "how creatively can Susannah Grant hide Jennifer's baby bump." Next came The Kingdom, which received decent reviews, but I actually never saw. I'll take the blame for that one. I was starting to sweat bullets when it came to your future prospects. Then came Juno.

Oh, how I was so happy about Juno. Your subtle, heartfelt performance showed the world what I already knew: that you are a superb actress who can be more than a butt-kicking bad-ass. Despite my bias, your performance grounded that film, and you were robbed of both Golden Globe and Academy Award nominations.

Once again, I thought, "Jennifer is on the path to greatness." Not so fast. For whatever reason, you decided to costar with Hollywood man-boy Matthew McConaughey in Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. I was thisclose to seeing the film, but I refused. Matthew McConaughey, Jennifer, really? You're so much better than Kate Hudson.

Now you have two more films coming out soon, and I am uneasy.

First, The Invention of Lying hits theaters later this month. The trailer is unimpressive and the jokes are amusing, but far from laugh-out-loud worthy. However, Ricky Gervais' last film, Ghost Town, had the same lackluster trailer problem, and yet it was one of 2008's most enjoyable films. Though Lying's cast is great and you're charming as always (though bangs really aren't your best look), so I am keeping my fingers crossed.



I'm more concerned with February's Valentine's Day. Romantic comedies aren't your best vehicle, and this one appears to be the not-as-good American interpretation of Love, Actually, which may be the most overrated romantic movie of all-time (well, except for The Notebook). You're surrounded by some of Hollywood's A-list (Julia Roberts, Anne Hathaway, and Jamie Foxx), so I can't blame you for taking the role. Plus it's a pseudo Alias reunion for you and Bradley Cooper, and I'd never complain about that.



Maybe I'm paranoid, and you still have another Oscar-worthy role up your sleeve. At least I'm hoping so. Please, look for another Juno, a movie where you can showcase your dramatic range while keeping your trademark sweetness.

Regardless, I'll still see your films because, after all, you were Sydney Bristow.

Love always,
Jason